Who Needs Sleep

As you guys know I have been struggling with the descision of euthanizing Gandalf for a while.
This weekend was hard. As I was trying to clean the house, Gandalf was urinating just about everywhere. I finally had to put him outside, where he continued to urinate while laying in it. I tried to clean him up, but then he'd go again. It was awful. The urine was also not normal in that it seemed to be thicker than it should and had a distinct smell.

I sat down and had a cry for a while. I know it's time. He's unhappy all of the time now. Hardly even moves all day and night. I called Kevin and we agreed that it was time. I asked what he thought we should do, wait it out or scheduel the appointment. He thought the sooner the better, and that we just shouldn't prolong this.

So, I made the appointment this morning. I was pretty strong through the phone call. I told them I had never been in this situation, and that I would appreciate it if they explained it to me. It was all very clinical. The tech said it takes less than 10 seconds. I schedueled him as the first appointment, as I've heard that either the first or last is best so your vet is not rushed. I then called Kev and that's when the reality of it set in. I could tell he didn't like the finality of it. He asked if maybe we should have him evaluated first. I began to second guess myself. There were a lot of pregnant pauses. Finally, we both agreed that it was the right thing, and that we just had reservations because of the difficulty of it.

I have tonight to say goodbye. I hope that I've given him a great life. I hope I haven't let him suffer too much. We still have to decide what to do with his remains. We may request a private cremation and receive his ashes, or take him home to be buried. I left that up to Kev. I think I could handle either one, but he doesn't think he can take him back home.
Please just keep him in your thoughts for me. Whatever you believe, I'm sure this will be a relief to him. I personally think he'll be back pretty soon to enjoy being a frisky puppy again, since it's been so long since he's had that freedom.

Again, thanks for all of your support. I'm blessed to have such great friends.
Let's remember him this way. When he was healthy and happy, and would drag his mom and dad into bushes.