Tuesday, December 12, 2006
I don't care...
I was just thinking to myself how many times a day I mutter the words "I don't care." Let me tell you it's a lot. Maybe I should try to curb that, I don't know.
I don't care.
There it is again! There are a ton of things in the world I care about. If you are reading this you are one of those things. Then there's the environment, smelling nice, my dog and cat, whipped cream, my Kev, and of course Maya Bean.
Then there's all this other stuff. The fluff. you know how when you go on vacation, or to a special event there's always the drive and it always sucks because you anticipate the event so much Yeah, that's life baby. The drive. Just coasting along waiting for the next event.
Someone's going to catch me goofing off and writing a blog. Guess what?
I don't care.
I don't care.
There it is again! There are a ton of things in the world I care about. If you are reading this you are one of those things. Then there's the environment, smelling nice, my dog and cat, whipped cream, my Kev, and of course Maya Bean.
Then there's all this other stuff. The fluff. you know how when you go on vacation, or to a special event there's always the drive and it always sucks because you anticipate the event so much Yeah, that's life baby. The drive. Just coasting along waiting for the next event.
Someone's going to catch me goofing off and writing a blog. Guess what?
I don't care.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
The Radio Still Sucks
What has the music industry come to? I LOVE music! I would love to be able to make it my life, but then I think about where it's at and decide I can't be a part of it.
We are force fed music through Cox and Clear Channel. They don't care if it's good. They care if it can make the most money. Honestly, do you think Bruce Springsteen would ever make it in the industry today? How about REM? No, they wouldn't. They aren't beautiful and pointless. They aren't spending an entire song, hell, an entire album talking about how they're going to get laid. Granted, most of the time I fall hardest for bands and artists that aren't mainstream, but the mainstream today is boring and trite.
Why is it that no matter what genre they are, I have to make the bands I like friends on MySpace to find out if they put out a new single, or are on tour? To cite a few examples: Flogging Molly, Rancid, Ben Folds, Barenaked Ladies, Weird Al...I think that's pretty diverse.
It just sickens me that we have to put up with it. Gone are the days of the point 102.5 that played entire albums and didn't have a format that only allowed them to play the same 12 songs over and over. Gone are the days of 95.7 where we could at least hear some "adult alternative."
IF I could get 88.5 to play things more than once so I can decide if I like it or not that would be great, but as it stands it seems they're no help either.
Maybe I need to move to a different radio market so I can feel less jaded.
We are force fed music through Cox and Clear Channel. They don't care if it's good. They care if it can make the most money. Honestly, do you think Bruce Springsteen would ever make it in the industry today? How about REM? No, they wouldn't. They aren't beautiful and pointless. They aren't spending an entire song, hell, an entire album talking about how they're going to get laid. Granted, most of the time I fall hardest for bands and artists that aren't mainstream, but the mainstream today is boring and trite.
Why is it that no matter what genre they are, I have to make the bands I like friends on MySpace to find out if they put out a new single, or are on tour? To cite a few examples: Flogging Molly, Rancid, Ben Folds, Barenaked Ladies, Weird Al...I think that's pretty diverse.
It just sickens me that we have to put up with it. Gone are the days of the point 102.5 that played entire albums and didn't have a format that only allowed them to play the same 12 songs over and over. Gone are the days of 95.7 where we could at least hear some "adult alternative."
IF I could get 88.5 to play things more than once so I can decide if I like it or not that would be great, but as it stands it seems they're no help either.
Maybe I need to move to a different radio market so I can feel less jaded.
Friday, November 24, 2006
I Got Tagged...
(From MySpace)
TAG!
Tag You're it!
The first player of this game starts with the "7 odd and weird things/habits about yourself" People who get tagged need to write a blog of their 7 weird things/ habits, as well as state these rules clearly for the others to follow. At the end you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comment section and tell them to read yours.
1.) I can't take being rubbed. I guess my skin's pretty sensitive so if you lightly rub my arm over and over it feels like I'm getting an "indian burn."
2.) I ALWAYS dry myself off the same way and wash myself the same way. If I try to switch it up I stand in the shower confused for a while. It's funny to watch.
3.) I obsess abot my eyebrows. I swear that when I do not pluck them they are too far down on my face and make me look neandrothol-like.
4.) I am an over-taster. I can honestly tell you the difference between Bud Light and Michelob light. I really do taste chocolate and leather in a really bold red wine. It's cool though. I was trying to explain to Kev how sugar has more of a flavor than just sweet to me, but words fell short.
5.) Hallmark commercials can spontaneously make me cry, while the words Bean Crock still will make me laugh uncontrollably in the right situation.
6.) I really do have three nipples, and yes, they all work.
7.) I hum a ditty to myself when I have completed a task. Maybe it's too many years of gaming, but I can't stop. It's subconcious!
TAG!
Tag You're it!
The first player of this game starts with the "7 odd and weird things/habits about yourself" People who get tagged need to write a blog of their 7 weird things/ habits, as well as state these rules clearly for the others to follow. At the end you need to choose 7 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says "you are tagged" in their comment section and tell them to read yours.
1.) I can't take being rubbed. I guess my skin's pretty sensitive so if you lightly rub my arm over and over it feels like I'm getting an "indian burn."
2.) I ALWAYS dry myself off the same way and wash myself the same way. If I try to switch it up I stand in the shower confused for a while. It's funny to watch.
3.) I obsess abot my eyebrows. I swear that when I do not pluck them they are too far down on my face and make me look neandrothol-like.
4.) I am an over-taster. I can honestly tell you the difference between Bud Light and Michelob light. I really do taste chocolate and leather in a really bold red wine. It's cool though. I was trying to explain to Kev how sugar has more of a flavor than just sweet to me, but words fell short.
5.) Hallmark commercials can spontaneously make me cry, while the words Bean Crock still will make me laugh uncontrollably in the right situation.
6.) I really do have three nipples, and yes, they all work.
7.) I hum a ditty to myself when I have completed a task. Maybe it's too many years of gaming, but I can't stop. It's subconcious!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
...and so this is Christmas...
This is going to be a very interesting Christmas. I'm going to be changing my tradition that I've had basically since birth. It's Maya's first Christmas. There's not going to be a Christmas Eve / Festivus with Tacos. Hmm... It makes one think.
I truly believe that your close friends are the family that you choose. It's been a crazy year with the pregnancy and all, and the people who were right there with me through it all were my internal family, and my dear friends. I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my external family is breaking up. After my grandmother died it seemed that we all shed our pretenses. I don't think necessarily that she was the "glue" that held the family together, but I do think that people put on facades to make it seem that everything was ok. It hasn't been ok in a long time. The people I spend Christmas day with every year are strangers to me. I thought for sure that I knew them, but now that I am an adult I know that I don't. The people who I thought they were were kind, and caring, full of love and laughter, and were always there to back eachother up as family should are not that at all. It's a shame. They were all so tied up in their own messes that they couldn't take a time out to greet a brand new member to the family. I try not to be angry about it, it's not their fault that they are so selfish. I just know that I can't be there for them. Again, they have become strangers.
...It's going to be a strange Christmas.
I truly believe that your close friends are the family that you choose. It's been a crazy year with the pregnancy and all, and the people who were right there with me through it all were my internal family, and my dear friends. I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that my external family is breaking up. After my grandmother died it seemed that we all shed our pretenses. I don't think necessarily that she was the "glue" that held the family together, but I do think that people put on facades to make it seem that everything was ok. It hasn't been ok in a long time. The people I spend Christmas day with every year are strangers to me. I thought for sure that I knew them, but now that I am an adult I know that I don't. The people who I thought they were were kind, and caring, full of love and laughter, and were always there to back eachother up as family should are not that at all. It's a shame. They were all so tied up in their own messes that they couldn't take a time out to greet a brand new member to the family. I try not to be angry about it, it's not their fault that they are so selfish. I just know that I can't be there for them. Again, they have become strangers.
...It's going to be a strange Christmas.
Monday, November 13, 2006
A letter to Maya
I've debated posting this for a while. I think that I need a swift kick though, and in some ways putting it out there for all to see is a weird way of making me accountable.
Dearest Maya-Bean,
I love you more than I could ever imagine loving anyone. I have not been fair to you though. You see, I have had a terrible habit of smoking cigarettes since I was 13 years old. I quit in anticipation of you for a good two years. Then I mistakenly thought that I could just have one or two socially with friends. This was not the case, and I starting smoking all the time again. Then I found out I was pregnant with you. I quit again immediately, and thought you were a bit of a wake-up call on that. You came into the world on 8/11/06 and my life changed forever. I again thought that I could socially smoke after you were born, and am in the process of making the same exact mistake. I'm sorry to have let you down so soon. Please know that I want nothing more than to be the best mommy to you that I can. I will make mistakes, and I'm sorry for that.
I want you to know that I don't want to take that path again. I have quit in the past for less important reasons and been successful, so I have no doubt that I can. I have decided to make every effort to stop this in its tracks. I may slip again, but please know that I don't want to. I know you can smell it and it smells yucky to you. I know you can taste it in my milk. It's not fair and it has to stop. You are my world, and I would die for you. Therefore I should also live for you.
~Love, Mommy
Dearest Maya-Bean,
I love you more than I could ever imagine loving anyone. I have not been fair to you though. You see, I have had a terrible habit of smoking cigarettes since I was 13 years old. I quit in anticipation of you for a good two years. Then I mistakenly thought that I could just have one or two socially with friends. This was not the case, and I starting smoking all the time again. Then I found out I was pregnant with you. I quit again immediately, and thought you were a bit of a wake-up call on that. You came into the world on 8/11/06 and my life changed forever. I again thought that I could socially smoke after you were born, and am in the process of making the same exact mistake. I'm sorry to have let you down so soon. Please know that I want nothing more than to be the best mommy to you that I can. I will make mistakes, and I'm sorry for that.
I want you to know that I don't want to take that path again. I have quit in the past for less important reasons and been successful, so I have no doubt that I can. I have decided to make every effort to stop this in its tracks. I may slip again, but please know that I don't want to. I know you can smell it and it smells yucky to you. I know you can taste it in my milk. It's not fair and it has to stop. You are my world, and I would die for you. Therefore I should also live for you.
~Love, Mommy
Friday, November 10, 2006
Norman Rockwell Eat Your Heart Out!
I just had to share...
I got home with the Maya-monster last night at around 6:30. She had napped all the way home and was peaceful, and content. She sat in her Boppy while I took care of the household stuff. Then I changed her diaper, and she smiled and cooed at me. I lifted her to me and held her close. I felt as if my heart would burst with all the love I felt. I sat down and began to nurse her. I stroked her hair as she nuzzled close to me. She finished eating and her eyes became droopy. I told her I didn't want her to sleep because I hadn't had enough time to love on her. She fought it, but was losing the battle with her heavy lids. I wrapped her in her blanket and cuddled her. As she started to drift I softly sang, "What a Wonderful World." Her eyes shut completely just as I sang, "oooohhh yeah." I kissed her tiny forehead, said, "I love you," and laid her down to sleep.
That makes it all worth it.
I got home with the Maya-monster last night at around 6:30. She had napped all the way home and was peaceful, and content. She sat in her Boppy while I took care of the household stuff. Then I changed her diaper, and she smiled and cooed at me. I lifted her to me and held her close. I felt as if my heart would burst with all the love I felt. I sat down and began to nurse her. I stroked her hair as she nuzzled close to me. She finished eating and her eyes became droopy. I told her I didn't want her to sleep because I hadn't had enough time to love on her. She fought it, but was losing the battle with her heavy lids. I wrapped her in her blanket and cuddled her. As she started to drift I softly sang, "What a Wonderful World." Her eyes shut completely just as I sang, "oooohhh yeah." I kissed her tiny forehead, said, "I love you," and laid her down to sleep.
That makes it all worth it.
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Screw Brighthouse
Around the middle of September a Brighthouse Tech came a knockin at my door. He informed me that Brighthouse was upgrading everyone's cable boxes. He installed a DVR at my house. I swear I asked him at least three times what the charges were and he said it was free because we had so many services with them.
So I'm trying to figure out my finances today-looking over my bills, and deciding who gets paid and who has to wait. (Unpaid maternity leave is a bitch.) Lo and behold I was billed for the DVR service. When I called Brighthouse they had no idea what I was talking about. They told me I can exchange the DVR for my good old digital box, but that if I kept the DVR I'd be charged their monthly fee of $6.95. I thought the whole thing was shady and unscrupulous, but that's ½ the price of Tivo, so I decided I'd just stick with the DVR (which annoys the heck out of us) and cancel my Tivo service.
I called Tivo and told them I hated to do it, but I had to cancel because of the price difference. They were upset. The rep said, "But you've been a customer for over five years! What can we do to work this out? What if we match their price?" I said sure, I'd hold on to my Tivo.
DONE.
TIVO RULES!
So I'm trying to figure out my finances today-looking over my bills, and deciding who gets paid and who has to wait. (Unpaid maternity leave is a bitch.) Lo and behold I was billed for the DVR service. When I called Brighthouse they had no idea what I was talking about. They told me I can exchange the DVR for my good old digital box, but that if I kept the DVR I'd be charged their monthly fee of $6.95. I thought the whole thing was shady and unscrupulous, but that's ½ the price of Tivo, so I decided I'd just stick with the DVR (which annoys the heck out of us) and cancel my Tivo service.
I called Tivo and told them I hated to do it, but I had to cancel because of the price difference. They were upset. The rep said, "But you've been a customer for over five years! What can we do to work this out? What if we match their price?" I said sure, I'd hold on to my Tivo.
DONE.
TIVO RULES!